ついに出発が明日にせまっているけど、特にいつもの週末と変わらない一日を過ごしている。
旅行の前日というと、家で余念のない準備をする人も多いと思うけれど、僕はたいてい前日の夜にすべてを済ませる。特に新しく買う必要のあるものもないし、なかったらなかったでなんとかなると思っているから。

そういうわけで、今日も街に繰り出していた。
まずはHippo Hardware & Trading Companyへ。
古いものへの愛着、もはや執着といってもいいくらい、中には古い家具や照明で溢れていた。
「この店は本当に素晴らしいですね！」と声をかけると「ありがとう、でもさすがに多すぎるよ(笑)」
と、陽気に答えてくれる店員の優しそうなおじさん。
もし、ポートランドに長く住むことができて、家や部屋をもっていたら、絶対にこの店から家具を買いたいと思うだろう。

昼過ぎにはLiving Room Theaterでついに念願のThings to Comeを見に行く。
少し早く着きすぎたので、併設されたカフェでピザとコーヒーを頼む。
持て余した時間でNetflixでTangelineを見ていると
「その映画俺も大好きだよ、超良いよね！」
と、店員さんが話しかけてくれた。
「でも、スラング多すぎて何言ってるかわからないよ(笑)」
「そこはあんまり気にしなくていいよ！」
こうした気さくな会話も、日本の映画館では体験したことがなかったということに気づく。

映画自体は、とても素晴らしい映画だった。
これまでのミアの映画は彼女自身の過去を語る自伝的な内容だったと僕自身は解釈している、そして今回の映画も同様に自伝だと思う。しかし、この映画に映画に描かれているのは彼女自身の未来なのではとおもえた。少なくとも僕の解釈だとそんな感じ。
描かれている内容は必ずしも幸せな内容ばかりではないし、恥ずかしいような部分もある。
そういったことに対しても悲観的にも、楽観的にもならず、客観的に受け止めようとしている意志を感じる。
映画の内容に自分自身を余すところなく投影しようと試みるこのミア=ハンセン・ラブという監督の偉大さを改めて思い知らされる一本だった。

夜にはPeacock Laneでクリスマスの照明を見る。
さすがに少しやりすぎかな？と思える照明も多かったけれど、こんなクリスマスの形もあるんだなと感心してしまった。

あまり遅くなってしまうと、明日からの旅行に響くので慌てて家に帰る。
深夜になって、大慌てで忘れていた年賀状を書く。
そういえば手書きの手紙なんていつぶりに書くだろう？そもそも親や友達に手紙を出したことなんてあったかな？
予備の封筒もないから、間違えたらどうしようとか、かっこよくアルファベットを書きたいだとかそんなことを考えるうちに時間がかかっていた。
まだ一文字もメッセージを書いていないのに！

その後、大慌てで荷物をパッキングする。
明日からの2週間、どんな日々があるのだろうと思うと寝られず、気づくと朝の四時。
本当はあそこにも行きたかったな、とか、車が運転できたらな、とか旅に出る前から少し後悔が始まってしまう。
そのうち、明日きちんと起きれるかどうかとか、別の不安が頭をよぎる。
ぐるぐると後悔と不安に苛まれながら、いつのまにか眠りに落ちていたみたいだ。

Finally my departure is going to come tomorrow, but I had the same day as the usual weekend.
When the day before the trip, I think that almost people prepare very carefully at home until 2 or 3 days before the deperture, but I always don't finish everything for trip until the day before deperture.
Because I don't have anything new to buy and I will manage everything.
That's why I was on the street today as well.

At first to Hippo Hardware & Trading Company.
Attaching to the old stuff, It was no longer love but closer to obsession. Inside was full of old furniture and lighting.

"Thank you, man. But there are too many (laughs)"
"This shop is really amazing"

A gentleman who is kind to a clerk who answers cheerfully said.
If I could live in Portland for a long time and have a house or room, I would definitely want to buy furniture from this store.

At first to Hippo Hardware & Trading Company.
Attaching to the old stuff, It was no longer love but closer to obsession. Inside was full of old furniture and lighting.

"Thank you, man. But there are too many (laughs)"
"This shop is really amazing"

A gentleman who is kind to a clerk who answers cheerfully said.
If I could live in Portland for a long time and have a house or room, I would definitely want to buy furniture from this store.

In the afternoon, at the Living Room Theater I finally go to see "Things to Come" that was Mia Hansen=Love's latest film. As I got there a little earlier, I ordered a pizza and coffee at the café next to the auditorium. When I was watching "Tangeline" with Netflix on the iPad.

"I love that movie too, it's super good, right?"
The clerk spoke to me.

"But I don't understand what they say, that slang is so fast for me" (laugh) "
"It doesn't matter, man! Please fun!"

I also noticed that such a friendly conversation had never been experienced at the theater in Japan.

The movie was very wonderful.
For my Interpretation, Mia 's movie so far told us about her own past as autobiography, and I think that this movie is also autobiography as well.
However, it seemed to me that her own future was depicted in it.
The story always hasn't being drawn happy, there are parts that are ashamed for me, for director too.
I think she was not pessimistic or optimistic, she is willing to take it objectively.
It remind me of the greatness of this director Mia-Hansen Love who tried to project itself to the movie as much as possible.

In the evening we see Christmas lights at Peacock Lane.
Would it be a bit overkill? There were lots of lights that could be thought of, but I admired that there are such a gourgous Christmas as well.

I went back home in a hurry to prepere for trip from tomorrow.
I had to write a New Year's card to my friends and family but I remembered that I had do nothing about that at midnight.
By the way, when is the last time for me to write a handwritten letter? I couldn't remember. Have I ever written a letter to my parents or friends?
There was no spare envelope, so it took time to think about what to do if you make a mistake, or want to write a cool alphabet.
I have not written a message even one letter yet!

Then I packed up my bags in a hurry.
I couldn't sleep because I wonder what kind of days there are in this 2 weeks from tomorrow. When I noticed it is 4 o'clock in the morning.
Some little regrets come over in my head before I got on a trip, like 'if I could drive a car, or If I can go to National Park.'
While thinking like that, another anxiety overturns me whether I can get up properly tomorrow.
I seemed to have fallen asleep while I was suffering from regrets and anxiety around.

ESSAYS IN IDLENESS

12/17 THE DAY BEFORE DEPERTURE